(During the pre-show, Cannonball, Hawkeye, and Popgun enter and arrange themselves in various hammocks & beds in Section E.)

(Pre show winds down with Black Pete talking the crowd up. Once finished, Black Pete moves to his spot at the jail, sitting down and nodding off.)

(Dragonmen enter the stage. Retch from the main tower, Chomp from the white tower stairs, Squat from the well, and Gnaarl from the scout tower in section G. They all gather in center stage.)

(Waits for the inevitable crowd response)

(To audience)

(In unison)

(The dragonmen all begin to stealthily creep towards the slumbering guards)

(Offstage)

(The dragonmen all pause at the sound.)

(All dragonmen except Gnaarl start running around in circles in a quiet panic, holding their ears from the pain.)

(Raising his hand)

(Gesturing around the stage wildly)

(The dragonmen scatter. Retch goes upstairs to the front of the tower in Section M. Chomp goes to the stairs in Section E. Gnaarl goes to the platform on the white tower in Section H. Squat climbs the shrouds in Section E to the deck in Section I.)

(Sgt. Gallows enters from the left entrance in Section E.)

(Gallows moves to center stage, looking around.)

(To the sleeping guards)

(No response from the guards. Gallows moves to Section E)

(Cannonball starts snoring loudly. Gallows moves close by and puts his whistle to his lips and blows a deafening blast.)

(Cannonball, Popgun, Hawkeye, and Black Pete all fall out of their hammocks/beds and gather to attention in Section D, while Sgt. Gallows yells at them from Section E.)

(Simultaneously)

(Addressing the tree next to Sgt. Gallows)

(Popgun and Cannonball turn Hawkeye away from the tree and towards Sgt. Gallows)

(Squinting)

(Simultaneously)

(Sgt. Gallows fires the cannon in Section G.)

(The force of the blast causes the dragonmen to all give a yell and fall from their positions.)

(Retch slides down the yardarm rope to land in Section B.)

(Chomp falls onto and swings down the rope from the stairs to land in Section E.)

(Gnaarl falls off the white tower to the pad in Section G.)

(Squat falls off the wall and gets tangled in the shrouds in Section E.)

(Popgun charges into the middle of the dragonmen, only to get pummeled and sent sailing back towards the guards)

(Shamefacedly)

(Hawkeye charges the dragonmen, but ends up running into Cannonball’s back.)

(Hawkeye jumps on Cannonball’s back and starts flailing about. The rest of the guards attack the dragonmen, Popgun attacks Chomp, Sgt. Gallows attacks Gnaarl, Black Pete attacks Retch)

(While fighting)

(While under Gnaarl’s attack)

(Cannonball, with Hawkeye still on his back, grabs a cannon from Section B and maneuvers it towards the fighting in center stage)

(The fighting ends abruptly and the good & bad guys all run for cover as Cannonball fires the cannon.)

(The dragonmen begin to scatter away from the stage, sneaking away towards the exit at the back of Section C, except for Squat, who remains trapped in the shrouds, trying to free himself.)

(Exasperated)

(Hawkeye, Sgt. Gallows, and Popgun gingerly step away from Black Pete)

(The guards all look around the stage)

(All the guardsmen react in surprise and awe at Squat’s words)

(Sgt. Gallows and Black Pete begin extracting Squat from the shrouds)

(Black Pete takes Squat and sticks him in the jail.)

(Once Black Pete has locked the jail door, he settles down for a snooze next to the jail cell.)

(Sgt. Gallows moves to exit through to doorway in Section K. Hawkeye exits at the bottom of the white tower in Section E. Cannonball moves to Section D and stands there with his arms crossed. Popgun moves to Section H, looking over the wall.)

(Chomp, Retch, and Gnaarl enter from behind the scout tower in Section O.)

(To Gnaarl)

(Audience’s "Oh, no!")

(Hitting Gnaarl on the head)

(Retch pulls out the fake bushes from behind the tower and the dragonmen move towards Cannonball.)

(Retch leads the way with Chomp and Gnaarl trailing behind.)

(The dragonbushes occasionally collide with one another as they get closer to Section C. Occasionally, Gnaarl’s head pops up to see what’s going on and gets hit by Retch)

(The dragonbushes eventually get to either side of Cannonball in Section D, they crowd closer and closer, leaning in towards Cannonball until he turns his head and then they act like they’re just looking around.)

(This goes on once or twice until just as hands emerge from the bushes and close in on Cannonball, Hawkeye enters from Section E. At the sound of Hawkeye’s voice, the hands zip back into the bushes.)

(Hawkeye moves close enough to peer into the bushes.)

(Cannonball pulls his gun and points it at the bush with Chomp/Gnaarl. The bush shakes and Gnaarl tries to sneak away, but gets pulled back in by Chomp)

(Hawkeye reaches back behind the tree in Section E for the bug sprayer)

(Hawkeye sprays the closest bush to him (Retch) with the spray. After much hacking and choking Retch falls to the ground outside the bush)

(Chomp throws down the bush and draws her weapon)

(Cannonball points his gun at Gnaarl)

(Dashing behind Cannonball)

(Turning towards the sound of Chomp’s voice)

(Hawkeye sprays Cannonball in the face with the bug sprayer, causing Cannonball to gag and drop his gun and start flailing at everyone.)

(Hawkeye moves off towards the front of the well while Gnaarl gets caught by Cannonball accidentally and put into a headlock.)

(Chomp exits towards the white tower)

(Gnaarl bites Cannonball’s arm, causing Cannonball to yell out in pain. This wakes Black Pete up from his nap.)

(As Black Pete walks by the jail, Squat reaches out and grabs Pete’s sword and pulls it from its sheath, holding it towards Black Pete)

(Pete and Squat continue their game of cat and mouse while Retch recovers from the spray)

(Retch engages Cannonball in a comic wrestling match while attempting to get Gnaarl’s head clear.)

(Sgt. Gallows walks in from the entrance in Section K.)

(Popgun turns around and starts to run down the stairs, only to stop and grab a rope tied to the stairs and swing into action. Sgt. Gallows slides down the pole and closes on the dragonmen)

(Cannonball and the dragonmen have moved to the front of Section C and Cannonball throws off Gnaarl and hurls him towards Sgt. Gallows. Sgt. Gallows steps out of the way and Gnaarl runs into Hawkeye, who is positioned on the well. They collide in an explosion of powder from the bug sprayer and both disappear over the edge of the well.)

(Cannonball runs to the well and leans over the inside to try and pull Hawkeye from the bog. Sgt. Gallows and Popgun engage Retch in Section D. Their fight continues along the hammocks in Section E. At some point this causes Sgt. Gallows to go down and the hammocks become part of the fight.)

(Eventually, Sgt. Gallows and Popgun defeat Retch, sending her running for Section B and exiting stage right)

(To Squat)

(Sgt. Gallows motions to Popgun, who promptly draws his guns and points them at Squat)

(Squat hands Pete’s sword back to him.)

(Chomp comes walking in from the white tower in Section E. She moves to stand in the clearing in Section D.)

(Chomp stops when she looks up and sees the humans staring at her. They just look at each other and crouch like animals stalking each other.)

(Cannonball pulls Hawkeye out to where Hawkeye is hanging on to the well and dangling inside.)

(At Cannonball’s words, Popgun attacks. Chomp avoids the diving Popgun by jumping on the trampoline and landing on the shrouds.)

(She then jumps through Black Pete and Sgt. Gallows by bounding off the trampoline and landing past them. As she does, Black Pete and Sgt. Gallows both draw their guns and point them towards her, finishing by pointing their weapons at each other.)

(Simultaneously)

(Black Pete and Sgt. Gallows both yell and duck under each other’s pistols. Chomp turns and runs for the well, stepping on Hawkeye’s shoulders as she goes over the well, causing Hawkeye to fall back in again.)

(When she reaches the other side, Cannonball stops her, forcing her to jump back across the well and Cannonball almost falls inside chasing after her)

(She lands in Section C by the lift line and it surrounded by Sgt. Gallows, Popgun, and Black Pete)

(Chomp takes a swing at Sgt. Gallows with her weapon. Gallows ducks, causing Popgun to get hit instead. While the good guys are momentarily caught off-guard, Chomp hits the gets on the lift line and is lifted to the second level in Section J.)

(Chomp makes it to the top, and turns to taunt the good guys.)

(Black Pete goes up the ladder in Section K, Popgun leaps onto the trampoline in Section E and climbs to Section I. Sgt. Gallows goes out the exit in Section C.)

(Black Pete engages Chomp in a brief scuffle until Popgun arrives from behind.)

(Chomp engages in a fight with Black Pete and Popgun. She disables Black Pete and makes a run for the tower in Section M with Popgun close behind.)

(Chomp swings on the yardarm away from Popgun, who tries to dive after her, but falls into the rockpile)

(Chomp swings back and lands on the edge of the platform in Section M, looking down at the fallen Popgun and taunting him)

(While Chomp is taunting, Sgt. Gallows emerges from the doorway in Section K and points his flintlock at Chomp.)

(Chomp turns and looks at Sgt. Gallows and Gallows fires his gun, causing Chomp to react and fall into the rock pile.)

(Sgt. Gallows blows on the flintlock, does some kind of fancy gunwork and exits back thru the gate in Section K.)

(Cannonball finally manages to retrieve Hawkeye from the well in Section C.)

(Squat opens the jail door and begins to sneak across the stage in Section G.)

(All onstage characters turn and look at Squat, who is slowly moving away into Section G towards the scout tower.)

(To Hawkeye & Cannonball)

(Black Pete descends the slide pole and lands in Section B)

(Cannonball charges forward and runs Hawkeye over, causing both of them to crash in a tangle of bodies)

(Squat reaches the scout tower and is about to make his escape when Sgt. Gallows emerges from behind the wall, his gun drawn and pointed at Squat)

(Gallows marches Squat back to the jail)

(Hawkeye & Cannonball go to the rockpile in Section A and pull out Popgun. Black Pete quickly runs over to stand next to Sgt. Gallows, who has just placed Squat back in jail.)

(Hesitantly)

(Sgt. Gallows takes off his hat and proceeds to smack Black Pete with it repeatedly. Squat begins to sneak out of the jail door.)

(Squat goes back in jail)

(To Black Pete)

(Snapping to attention)

(Sgt. Gallows moves to Section D where he is met by Popgun, Cannonball, and Hawkeye)

(Looking towards the rockpile)

(Popgun, Cannonball, Gallows, and Hawkeye move to the exit in Section B with Hawkeye regaling them with a story about Fifi.)

(Black Pete sticks his fingers in his ears and starts humming really loud.)

(Black Pete stops humming, takes his fingers out of his ears and turns towards Squat)

(Doing a quick toe touch)

(Black Pete turns a bends over facing the jail cell, he ends up placing his head & hands in the stocks and Squat promptly locks him in place.)

(Black Pete launches into a string of curses as Squat moves to exit out of Section G.)

( Sgt. Gallows, Cannonball, Hawkeye, and Popgun enter from Section B.)

(Reacting in panic and drawing his pistol)

(The guardsmen arrive at the jail)

(Sgt. Gallows, Popgun, and Cannonball move up to the left side of Section J. Hawkeye frees Black Pete from the stocks)

(Hawkeye and Black Pete kind of look at each other in the face, then look at each other’s crotch, then look away quickly)

(Black Pete and Hawkeye move next to the tree in Section E while Hawkeye tells his story)

(Simultaneously)

(All three guardsmen begin looking over the wall. Cannonball on the Stage left-most side, Sgt. Gallows and Popgun in more center stage)

(Cannonball fires a flintlock over the wall. Sgt. Gallows and Popgun draw their guns and face him.)

(Cannonball lifts a rubber lizard from over the wall.)

(Sgt. Gallows and Popgun put up their guns)

(Sgt. Gallows turns to grab the rope to throw over the wall.)

(Popgun leaps over the wall, yelling all the way down)

(from backstage)

(Cannonball and Sgt. Gallows throw the rope over the wall and try to retrieve Popgun.)

(Chomp, Squat, and Retch make their entrance in Section G, standing by the edge of the crowd next to Margaret.)

(A loud yelling match takes place and the dragonmen start shoving each other around until one of them bumps Margaret by accident.)

(All three of the dragonmen stop arguing and turn to glare menacingly at Margaret.)

(The three dragonmen start stalking towards Margaret, who backs away with her hands up onto the stage.)

(The three dragonmen begin to attack Margaret, who manages to avoid them with a great deal of luck, the dragonmen’s clumsiness, and many shots from her purse, which she always seems to manage to hit Squat with.)

(At one point, the three dragonmen are halted long enough for Margaret to scramble up the ladder to the scout tower.)

(smiling)

(Retch scrambles up the ladder until she reaches the correct rung.)

(Margaret gives quick yell and shoves the ladder over)

(from under the ladder)

(Margaret looks around and spots the boiling pitch pot. She starts to tip it over.)

(Margaret dumps the boiling pitch all over Squat, laughing all the time.)

(Squat starts yelling and flailing his arms about.)

(Margaret slides down the pole in the front of the tower and dusts her hands off as if in a job well done. She is quickly flanked by Retch and Chomp.)

(Chomp and Retch reach out and grab Margaret’s shoulders. Squat comes up in front of her, reaching out menacingly. Margaret quickly kicks him in the groin, causing him to yell in pain and collapse into Retch & Chomp)

(Margaret runs to the safety of the crowd and pulls out a fake mustache and a ball cap from her purse and dons them. Sitting down in her original position)

(The dragonmen recover and fan the crowd looking for Margaret)

(Chomp stops in front of Margaret, peering closely at her)

(In a fake man’s voice)

(From his perch on the tower in Section A.)

(Chomp and Squat move to get their props)

(Retch hushes the crowd)

(To Gnaarl)

(Gnaarl slides down the zip line to crash into the wall in Section K.)

(Sgt. Gallows and Cannonball manage to get Popgun back over the wall. Gallows turns and sees Gnaarl groaning from smashing the wall)

(Chomp holds Hawkeye and Black Pete at bay with her fire breathing while Gnaarl disengages himself from the zip line.)

(Popgun heads for the white tower. Gnaarl has picked up his sword and begins to move towards Sgt. Gallows and Cannonball)

(Squat moves a bit of fire in his hands, causing an explosion by the tree in Section E. Hawkeye is thrown to Section D.)

(Black Pete makes a run for Section B, but is caught by Squat’s next shot, causing an explosion by the well in Section C, throwing Black Pete back into Section D.)

(Retch fires off a shot, causing an explosion at the corner of Section J/I, sending Cannonball back into the center of J.)

(Retch fires her second hand load, causing and explosion in Section J between Gnaarl and Sgt. Gallows, sending Gnaarl flying over the wall backstage)

(Squat causes another explosion in Section H, by the tower, catching Popgun just as he gets to the platform and sending him falling to the ground below)

(Hawkeye draws the charged flintlock and fires squintlingly at Retch, he misses and ends up hitting the powder barrel in Section B.)

(The explosion sends Retch & Chomp sprawling to the ground in Section C/D.)

(Black Pete takes Hawkeye’s gun away from him)

(Cannonball fires his gun towards Squat, but ends up hitting the barrel behind him instead.)

(The explosion sends Squat reeling towards the other dragonmen in Section D.)

(The dragonmen on stage head towards the tower in Section A)

(Gnaarl pops up out of the well, shouting and yelling for all he’s worth. He lands in Section D, making growly noises at Hawkeye and Black Pete.)

(after squinting at Gnaarl)

(Hawkeye turns and runs for the ladder and climbs to a position in Section K.)

(to Black Pete)

(Gnaarl quickly looks around, notices the lack of dragonmen, then looks up towards the wall, where Cannonball and Sgt. Gallows cock the hammers on their pistols and aim then at him.)

(Gnaarl takes off for the shelter of Section A and Sgt. Gallows fires a shot from his flintlock that catches Gnaarl in the butt, sending him hopping)

(Chomp enters from Section E.)

(Sgt. Gallows and Cannonball come down to center stage. Black Pete retrieves Popgun from the ground in Section G. Hawkeye stays on the wall. There is much rejoicing.)

(The dragonmen turn to look at Gnaarl who’s scratching himself in unseemly places)

(The turn to look at Gnaarl who’s bouncing up and down in anticipation)

(With a lot of pizzazz)

(At the audience’s reaction, Dragon stomping is heard and the trees begin to shake backstage.)

(Hawkeye peers over the wall, screams and grabs the high/low slide for life and descends to the ground in Section G)

(When Hawkeye lands, he excitedly points back towards Yohko, who is emerging from over the wall in Section J, roaring.)

(Yohko’s roar cuts off abruptly as the good guys turn and calmly point their guns at Yohko)

(Yohko raises her hands up and slowly descends back behind the wall)

(The once Yohko disappears, the good guys all turn back to the audience and congratulate each other. Once they turn Yohko raises back over the wall and breathes fire, causing an explosion by the tree in Section E.)

(As the good guys sprawl to the ground, the dragonmen and Yohko all start laughing.)

(Black Pete gets up and starts stomping away)

(Popgun tries to attack Yohko, but Sgt. Gallows catches him by the shirt collar, holding him while Popgun flails)

(stopping mid-stride, pondering)

(to the dragonmen)

(holding his aching behind)

(The good guys react to Yohko’s suggestion)

(dashing to the weapon’s rack)

(The dragonmen charge the good guys in Section B. Sgt. Gallows begin distributing the weapons to the good guys)

(As he hands a weapon to a guard, they are immediately attacked by a dragonman. Chomp attacks Popgun, Squat attacks Cannonball, Retch attacks Black Pete, who is hit by the blindly swinging Hawkeye.)

(Chomp & Popgun move off towards Section D, Squat & Cannonball moves towards Section G, Retch, Black Pete, and Hawkeye stay in Section C.)

(Gnaarl comes up behind Sgt. Gallows and surprises him, causing him to squeal like a girl and jump back into Section B/A.)

(Chomp defeats Popgun and moves over to help Retch in Section C/D.)

(Sgt. Gallows disables Gnaarl and moves to help Black Pete and Hawkeye, but before he gets there, Black Pete is KO’d by Hawkeye accidentally.)

(Cannonball defeats Squat in Section G and moves to grab the cannon next to him)

(Retch & Chomp turn to look at Sgt. Gallows just as Gnaarl recovers. A fast 5-way fight ensues until Hawkeye is knocked down to the ground and the 3 dragonmen converge on Gallows, who makes a retreat to the ladder in Section B. He keeps fighting, but can’t get onto the ladder until Hawkeye manages to trip all 3 dragonmen, allowing Gallows time to scale the ladder.)

(Retch finishes off Hawkeye while Cannonball tries to sneak up on her with the cannon. Chomp and Gnaarl scale the ladder. Retch sees Cannonball and engages in a quick fight with him until Chomp and Gnaarl make it to the top of the ladder, then she defeats him.)

(Chomp, Gnaarl and Sgt. Gallows begin a 3-way fight on the wall, leading to Sgt. Gallows escaping from them by hiding behind the tower wall.)

(Chomp climbs the stairs to the top of the tower in Section M. Gnaarl continues to look around the platform in sections L and M.)

(Gnaarl heads for the tower in section M)

(Sgt. Gallows grabs the high to high slide for life and slides across to the tower in section A. Gnaarl dives for him and misses, falling into the rock pile down below.)

(Yohko breathes fire, causing an explosion on top of the tower in section M knocking Chomp off of the tower into the rock pile below)

(Retch points to Squat who is beginning to stir)

(Gnaarl and Chomp enter from section B)

(grumbling)

(Dragonpeople exit out of section B. Yohko descends behind the wall. The defeated guardsmen stir and move out amongst the crowd.)

(The dragon men pop their heads over the wall and yell "OH NO!")