Ted Dossey as

Captain Whitebeard

Nitro the Safecracker

Nitro the Safecracker

Name: Ted Santa Claus Captain White Beard Nitro John Crow Dossey
Birthdate: 12-7-55
Reason you joined the Stunt Show: Forced Slavery
How many grueling hours has Craig made you work on the show?: Not enough
Favorite Stunt: Gun going off in E's belt
What advice would you give someone playing your part?: Get drunk first
Favorite Line from any of the shows: "This water taste like pee"
Favorite fight partner in a show: Mary
Favorite Character From a Movie: Clint Eastwood in "Outlaw Josey Wales" when he spits on the dogs head
Favorite Food: Beer
If you were stranded on a desert Island with 1 other person, who would you prefer to be with?: Jesus
No, really: Jesus - he would feed me with one fish - ha ha ha
If you could bring one luxury item, like in "Survivor", what would you bring?: knife so I could kill all the other survivors
If you could have the power of 1 superhero, what would it be?: Diaperman
If you were going to play a superhero in a movie, who would you want to be directed by?: Tim Burton
If you could kick one person's butt on the planet and get away with it, who would it be?: John Ashcroft, Rick Perry, Tom Delay, Rush Limbaugh ... catch my drift?
Words to live by: Have fun today, tomorrow never comes
Acting/Technical experience: US Navy
Before I die, I want to: See the second coming - NOT
Any extra tidbits you want to offer: Don't drive 55

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